we have officially mastered the walk of shame
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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