Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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