I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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