batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
