took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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