the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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