So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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