i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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