I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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