You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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