she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
