just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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