he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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