Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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