haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
