when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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