Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
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I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
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You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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