the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
