then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
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He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
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We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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