some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wish you could order shots online.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
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