Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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