Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
