8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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