i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
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I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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