The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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