I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
