I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
