I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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