Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
