Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize