she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You ruined the universe
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
