Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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