Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
