I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
