I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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