I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
