walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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