we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
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