The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Is it because I queefed?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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