anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
