Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
