You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
