Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
