Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
True college students do jello shots in the library
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
