Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
