when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
