is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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