508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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