I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
