I wannas sexs uuuuu
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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