Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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