I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize