I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I deserve this hangover.
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