Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
