she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
