I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
