to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
