NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?