oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so let's talk penis.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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