if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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