oh god the rape fog is back!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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