its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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