will power is for people who don't want to get laid
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
