You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
